Let’s play in the deep end with a shadow integration practice called: Love the Heart of Fear. What does the heart of fear mean? Is it possible to love fear? 

I’m Christel Arcucci, you’re listening to the Soul Purpose Podcast, the lightning path of embodied spiritual awakening with shadow and light integration. Quit people pleasing, create healthy boundaries, reclaim power, and live your soul purpose legacy.

You may have noticed that episode 8 is weeks late. This episode is going to start with the real life challenges I am facing instead of the past episodes that focused on core elements of what I teach my clients. 

The plan for episode 8 was, “Wounding or Wisdom – How to Heal your Intuitive Body.”

On a Tuesday a few weeks ago a FB live I created 4 years ago popped up in my FB memories “Loving the Heart of Fear.”
I watched it, impressed this lady named Christel Arcucci dropped some wisdom bombs about shadow work and transformation. 😉 I had the audio transcribed as inspiration for a future episode of the podcast.
Wednesday (the next day) a wildfire starts dangerously close to my home in Northern California. As soon as I hear about the fire, I checked to find out how close is it to my home and drive home, hoping I will still be able to collect my valuables and evacuate. I know the roads may already be closed…I’m driving towards a wildfire. The fire clouds and smoke are ENORMOUS AND TERRIFYING. 

2016 the wildfires in California started impacting my friends, places I love and communities *VERY* near me. In late summer of 2020 after 4 years of this intense stress combined with dangerous air quality and the pandemic felt like hell. I swore to myself I wouldn’t and couldn’t stay through another fire season in California. 

When I arrive home on I was already in fight or flight stress response. I’m grateful I made it home before the roads closed or the fire reached my home yet feeling overwhelmed about what to take, where to go or what to do next.

The FB video on Tuesday had given me a transmission of love for the fear that is now coursing through my heart and flooding my system with stress hormones. Reminder to pay attention to all the signs and resources you are offered to you even if they don’t make sense in the moment.

Now you see why this episode is focused on loving the heart of your fear and why I am weeks late in delivering this. In the last 5 weeks there have been 3 wildfires that threatened my home.

As you know I get off on befriending my shadows, loving my shame, loving my fear, and getting in there and being with those parts that I wish didn’t exist. It would be easier if life was just unicorns, rainbows and wildflowers right? 

Earth School is the shadow integration masters program that you may have realized you signed up for yet cannot escape…. So let’s make this wild ride more enjoyable.

All kinds of protection mechanisms and survival strategies keep you from looking at your fears, help you avoid feeling pain sadness, grief, shame even desire or sexual arousal. 

Your brain is wired to survive. To try to keep you away from what you fear in order to keep you safe in what is known and familiar.

Your journey of awakening who you are and your purpose is rooted in being able to embrace your full human experience and your ability to accept and even love yourself.

You can say all day, “I love myself I love myself I love myself I love myself.”

And there’s a part of your brain saying, “Yeah, but what about the horrible thing you did. What about that like horrible thing you said? What about swearing at the person that didn’t use their turn signal? Or what about when you were five? You are bad and wrong so you can’t LOVE THAT!”

It’s easy to love the pretty parts of yourself, easier anyway.

It’s harder to love the undesirable things about yourself, to love the bad things that you’ve said and done. 

Dominant culture decides what is good or bad, right or wrong, acceptable or forbidden.

I’m exploring embracing my shadow, befriending the skeletons in my closet, rather than trying to pretend they’re not there, I invite them for tea. 

It takes an enormous amount of courage to acknowledge and accept your shadow, let’s be real. 

Shadow integration isn’t a casual thing you take up one day and it’s all grand and rosy with your skeletons carefully coming down out of the closet and sit at the table with you, they will likely throw shit and will likely be really mean at first. 

So… is loving the heart of fear possible and why am I talking about it?

It’s an important part of your journey of healing and a central way to love those horrible parts of yourself.

This shadow integration practice doesn’t condone bad behavior or abuse from yourself or anyone else, but it is about loving the wounded parts of yourself and the collective. When you can do this inside yourself you’ll be better able to engage with the shadow aspects of others. 

The heart is the softest most vulnerable, innocent and tender core element of everyone. When you turn into that truth it’s easier to imagine the possibility of loving the heart of anything that you most want to avoid or fear.

Start this practice by being willing to admit and be with your fear, doubt, shame, sadness, grief, addiction, victim, perpetrator, rescues etc.

All the parts of yourself that you wish didn’t exist and also the behaviors and traits which trigger you in others.

Acknowledge the shadows exists and be with them. “I see you”

Invite them into your journaling practice, meditation or mindful movement practice rather than pushing them away. “I feel you.”

The next level is to love your shadows. 

Love the heart of your fear.

Love the heart of your deepest, darkest, scariest parts…the ones that you if could, you would throw them out of the universe. “I love you.”

I’ve discovered the heart of fear is where so much power lives. I will even go so far as to say unlimited power lives.

Tap into that power to be more aligned, on purpose and connected to who you are and what you’re really here to do.

The more that you run from fear, the more you run from being yourself. Is that’s a game you want to  play? 

Playing hide and seek with the infinite power of your soul is why you decided to become human, it’s so fun! 

This is demonstrated in the 5 Acts (or Powers) of Shiva. The ability to create, maintain, destroy, conceal and reveal.

The game of playing hide and seek with each other and yourself is a fun game when you’re young… do you still the divine play now? Especially with the intensity of what’s happening in 2021 for example? 

Although the way that adults most often play hide and seek is unconscious and full of shadow material most often we don’t even realize what and who you are hiding from.

Lila is a Sanskrit word that means Divine Play and is a powerful tool to help remind you of the conscious game of hide and seek that you decided to become human and “forget” that you are infinite intelligence.

Using your life force energy to hide who you really are and what you think is exhausting and painful, and can lead to illness, depression, anxiety and suppressed immune function.

I invite you today, at whatever level you’re ready is to turn towards your fear. 

Name fear.

Be with fear. 

Befriend fear. 

Love the heart of fear.

Look fear in the eye and really be with what is there. Be willing to stay in the intensity and see what opens for you.

Im my practice of loving the heart of fear I like to practice this while eye gazing in the mirror. After a few breaths to drop in, it doesn’t take long before there’s a massive shift. As I’m able to feel the resistance to fear, the fear softens and opens. The resistance to feeling fear which is most often a desire to control in order to feel safe.  

Resistance, the desire to push away or get away from takes so much energy. 

With the practice of simply being with fear, being with doubts, demons, shadows or skeletons unlocks so many resources and power. 

Loving the heart of what you what to avoid or destroy changes everything and changes it quickly. 

Where are you in your journey of loving your fear, shadow and what you wish didn’t exist within you, others or the collective? 

Be willing to be with your fear, love the heart of that what scares you most.  

Love the heart of the most horrible things you’ve done in your life, love the horrible thoughts and you learn to love life itself, all of it.

I still often want life to be easy, playful, abundant and full of all my favorite things and the reality is that life on earth is the expression of spectrum of all possibilities and experiences.

My practice is anchoring myself in the moment with breath, mindfulness, and movement practices and  then remember the divine play of life on earth, that humanity is actively co-creating this experience.

Love your shadow, it liberates you from struggling again what is and trying to control the uncontrollable.

Your shadows will act out when you try to get rid of them or repress them… the shadow will create trouble. 

Love your shadows, shame, anger, rage, sadness as much as you can. 

Be willing to turn towards, look in the eyes of the parts of yourself that you wish weren’t there, and love all parts of yourself. When you’re able to do that, then things will change in the outer world. 

It’s so easy to run from the hard and ugly stuff. Oh, just keep yourself busy and do to anything to avoid looking at or being with fear. 

Turn towards fear. 

Be with anger.

Embrace sadness.

Sit with rage.

Love the heart of fear.

To the healing that is possible and the transformation that is available… love your heart, and love what you fear most. 

Thank you for being here, it’s a pleasure to walk the soul purpose path with you. 

You’re listening to the soul purpose podcast, the lightning path of embodied spiritual awakening with shadow and light integration. Quit people-pleasing reclaim power and create your soul purpose legacy.

You can access the Free Soul Success Journal & meditation and all episodes of the podcast and all the goodies mentioned in this episode at soulpurposepodcast.com/8

I believe in you and the magic power of your soul. 

For more revolutionary teachings and tools please follow on your favorite podcast app or visit soulpurposepodcast.com. I look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.

I am sending you so much love!