Healing the Mother Wound & My journey from being Motherless to feeling deeply and completely loved by the Great Mother.
*TRIGGER WARNING* includes my story of parental addiction, abuse and domestic violence.
I’m Christel Arcucci. You’re listening to the Embody Wealthy Podcast. The lightning path for world-changing women to receive millions, embody wealthy, and create the life you imagine aligned with the greater good.
If you are interested in working with me, please visit www.EmbodyYourLegacy.com to learn about upcoming programs and coaching opportunities.
Let’s begin with my intention. I’m sharing my journey of being motherless to illuminate why the foundation of my soul-work personally and professionally is to repair and integrate the wounded masculine and wounded feminine within in order to embody the divine union of masculine and feminine essence as your magic power in life, love and business.
I will read a self-guided soul retrieval that I wrote when I was 19 then go into a sensual hypnosis journey to help you heal the self abandonment, self sabotage, self attack, people-pleasing, over-giving tendencies of the Martyr mother archetype that can result from growing up in the dominant and dysfunctional culture and or growing up in a dysfunctional household with mental health issue such as addiction, neglect or abuse.
At the time of this recording in May 2022, I am 49.
The short story of my childhood is, both of my parents where alcoholics and my father got sober when I was 12. My mother’s alcoholism in her second marriage started as a dysfunctional relationship that quickly escalated into being abusive.
I asked for her help in managing the situation with my step-dad and she denied there was a problem.
I’ve been estranged from my mother since I was 14, after I moved out of her house and moved in with my father, who gave me a safe place to start a supported healing process.
My mother she and her family told me I was no longer her daughter. I was not their family.
This was an incredibly challenging time as I was becoming a young woman to have my mother tell me I was no longer her daughter.
I want you to know is that your story my story can be shared In so many ways and while there are many aspects of this writing that I would change now because now I tell a different story not because the facts of the event changed but because I feel so differently about losing my mother.
For many years, I felt devastated. I felt abandoned and betrayed that she chose him instead of me.
In my mid-30s, as I was beginning my public speaking career, I realized I had left. She choose to tell disown me as daughter, but I choose me by leaving a dysfunctional and abusive environment with parents that were mentally ill. My mother and stepfather were drinking too much The situation went from bad to worse after I left and she ended up getting beaten up many times, with broken ribs and hospital visits and at one point she was sleeping with a gun under her pillow on the couch in order to protect herself from her husband.
When I would tell people I was estranged from my mother but they would tell me I needed to repair and restore the relationship or I would regret it. For many years, I let people project their issues onto me and judge my choices. I let them shame me, make me feel like a terrible daughter, and wrong for a choice that I knew was best for me.
Clear boundaries with dysfunctional and mentally ill people as a way of choosing my health in order to do the inner healing needed to create a secure attachment with myself and others in my life.
Healing the Mother Wound & Father Wound supports each person to dance with masculine and feminine essence you are created from.
They often correlate feminine and masculine energies only with gender. This exploration has nothing to do with how you express the dynamic dance of masculine and feminine in your body and life.
My intention is to inspire you to reclaim your power and create and maintain clear boundaries with yourself and others. End the cycles of self neglect, self abandonment, self sabotage, self attack, stop people-pleasing, and over-giving by exploring re-parenting from the Divine Mother and Divine Father with inner archetype healing.
It’s time to create a secure, healthy, loving relationship with yourself and others.
Now for the soul retrieval writing and into the sensual hypnosis recode.
“Look at the child with a dream in her eyes, holding it deep inside her.”
Sarah McLachlan
Let us begin,
by cleansing the inner child,
tending to her broken heart.
Healing her broken spirit.
It’s time for a Rebirth
to become a child of the Earth.
I must not pretend for I know you see the moon before your eyes ah yes, the pain of childhood and the trauma of life.
The beginning, the opening, the slow of death in developing into who you really are.
I’m standing beside her with the childhood dress on. She’s holding my hand. She’s hard and as cold as stone, with only the warmth of blood to warm her skin.
The tears roll down my face. She looks straightforward. She seems not to hear nor feel the sobbing pounding in my heart.
She doesn’t notice the emotion or anything I feel.
Can’t she see, hear, or feel?
I’m calling out to her in desperate fear, “mother?”
Screaming for her help.
“Mother?!” but she doesn’t hear.
I tug on her hand and look up to her in despair, “mother?”
She does not dare to move. It’s like she’s frozen.
I wonder if there’s anyone alive in there.
I look around to see you so many of them not looking, not seeing, not feeling.
I’m not sure which…
What is really going on here?
I don’t understand this place called Earth. This life experiment of being human.
I feel. I see.
I know what’s behind your eyes, no matter how hard you may try not to let me.
I see you. I feel you.
I cannot pretend.
I will not pretend.
“Hey you! Can you hear me in there?” I call out in a fury. I cause a great commotion, waving my free arm, screaming and crying, but so many of them don’t even notice me.
There are a few who really see.
They see what’s behind my eyes, but as soon as they do, they look away and pretend they never saw me…
Oh the pain, who are these people and why don’t they listen or help or heal?
They are completely foreign to me. In my fury, I realize I am a child and the entire world believes this woman should take care of me. I cannot escape……yet! And I cannot give myself everything I need.
As the years pass, I stand beside her, holding her hand.
I am as hard as and cold as stone.
My face shows no emotion.
My eyes show nothing but distance.
Only my heart will burn inside of me, waiting for the day I will be free.
Slowly, her grip will loosen.
I lie in bed at night in the shadows with only my teddy bear to soothe my heart. And I silently cry myself to sleep with James pulled close to me, “One day James, we will be free somewhere out there where none of them can find us.”
The years passed on and now I stand upon the Mountain, the winds whip around me, the moon shines down upon me and my hands are FREE!
I remember that child with the dream in her eyes and I raise my hands to the Heavens and my heart weeps, the tears stream down my face and I whisper, “Mother….”
“Yes, dear child. What do you need?” I hear her reply.
My soul is restored.
I fall to my knees and I hold my hands over my heart and I feel the first sputtered breaths of life.
The hands of the earth hold me, caress me, feel me, love me and heal my body with her healing love.
I feel the power and light rise and the tears of joy release.
Now I shall walk again and fly beyond the limits of mind.
The sun warms my back, so I turn to feel the warmth of the sun on my face.
I shift my body and feel what it holds and become ready to dance through this life.
Now that I realize I am home.
Mother Earth has been there loving me all along.
She is always holding me, guiding me, healing me, feeling me, feeding me, loving me and mothering me.
Thank you Mother.
Jai Ma.
(Sensual Hypnosis not included in transcription)
Thank you for being here. It’s a pleasure to co-create and embody wealthy with you.
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I am sending you so much love!